Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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