still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
