i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
