Don't you send me to vm
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
