the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
