But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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