no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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