She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
