Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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