whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
