i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
