you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
