i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
