im about as happy as oj after his trial
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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