you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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