My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
