It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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