I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
