I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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