after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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