hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
