My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
