just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
