You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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