The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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