We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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