A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
