I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
