I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
