Dual....:-)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
