Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
