I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
