if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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