p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
