"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
