Non-Jews are for practice
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
