I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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