The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
