I wish I could teleport
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
