why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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