break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
