Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
