Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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