I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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