We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
