I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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