Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
