so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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