I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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