we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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