She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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